Three Word Story, Attempt #2

A long time

Story up to paragraph 5:
A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with a shark with a grey moustache on it's frikkin' head. The Jews prevailed, pissing off the Communist Party, who launched a revolution in Siberia which failed because they were wearing bikinis. Suddenly, it was 1939 but actually it was not. Meanwhile, in 1972, Alyssa imploded after eating chicken fried rice. This proved to be beneficial to the economy of Kazakhstan. Somehow. Anyways, someone decided to have intercourse with Dom. He was a woman. Also, he had testicles. However, they were very small. The woman was also fat and bearded.

Finally, in 1999 they broke up the Berlin Wall by humping vigorously nearby. Later that day, a baby popped out of Brent's cloning machine. It murdered Brent by throwing Romar's skeleton at Putin's wife who seduced James Bond by wearing a clown suit. Putin attempted to have intercourse with elephants, but Bond shot him in the rectum. The elephants then chased Dick Cheney around a car like a fish in a condom. A small condom landed on top of Putin's corpse; it contained a present from Bond in the form of his wife's penis on a stick. It was relatively unpleasant, but also very sexy.

Finally, the Queen invaded Antarctica in a snowmobile alongside the Kangaroo Crew, leading an army of bionic penguins wielding automatic dildos with spiky ends. They were met by mutant walruses and a battle for the ages did not occur because a volcano exploded engulfing Newfoundland, except for some guy who happened to be standing on Margaret Thatcher's mechanical breast. It was rather amusing although also a little disturbing. Meanwhile, Jeffrey Dahmer decided that gays were not tasty enough to eat for Easter brunch so he threw them into a pit. Filled with lava. And cockroaches. Suddenly, the space-time continuum functioned fucking flawlessly. Except for the nothing that didn't not teleport Alyssa to hell which caused her to not be teleported anywhere except hell. But she wasn't. On Earth, that splendid, majestic evening was ruined by the screeching of a velociraptor during anal intercourse with a horrified Asian politician who subsequently started murdering Jews in his shame. The Jewish community, which was used to this, did nothing, except steal our money. The Israeli Nazis managed to kill enough Aryans that the Jew gave up Stephen Hawking to the Mexicans. Regardless, the Pope then ate Romar's skeleton. When Dom fucked said skeleton in the pelvis, the Pope then did a triple-somersault into Dominik's ass hole.

Dominik's struggle to remain straight was overwhelmingly successful. Brent's gay-ray changed that but really didn't. Except it did. However, it didn't. After Brent fucked a dog, he was deeply penetrated by Sylvester Stallone, before being killed painfully by asshole impalement. A necromancer then died without doing anything particularly evil. Except eat Brent's man-slave, Dominik. He also died. However, a mutant race of mutated mutants descended from mutants killed other mutants. It made an interesting movie, directed by crab people. Metrosexual crab people crab people crab people raped Dustin. In a totally different dimension, flying monkeys with syphilis defecated onto Brent's friend Romar. He died right on the Kremlin with a gigantic umbrella. It was raining men which delighted Dom greatly; his enormous penis began to enter Romar's mother's vaginal orifice which opened to allow the mothership to dock inside.

Aliens on unicycles wearing elephant bikinis and smoking Cuban citizens over a canyon decorated with invisible pink unicorns were ready to write a children's erotic novel featuring Romar and some Puerto-Rican Asian Frenchmen. They wore snow-pants knitted into patterns shaped like crab-people. One of them was eating babies because Fidel Castro and Chairman Mao were having Martinis at Lenin's summoning. It was rather frightening but at least there were naked entertainers shaped like kangaroos. Suddenly, Stalin began stroking his mustache to huge laughs from Hitler, who punched Pol Pot in the ankle. It did not hurt Mao, however Pol Pot shat his trousers. It smelled like revolution but actually smelled like feces. Regardless, Che Guevara died. It was sad. Then, Robert Mugabe ate a socialist gorilla which wasn't racist. Gorbachev then screwed Hugo Chavez's dog, amusing Karl Marx greatly. Afterwards, Robert Owen and Piotr Kropotkin started playing pokemon with Tommy Douglas before having a massive siezure while Trotsky started partying like it's 1867. Meanwhile, in Dr. Evil's secret closet, white Negroes Brent had sex with revolted against the communist utopia of the aforementioned individuals who were currently engaged in a sexy party involving Khrushchev, Evo Morales, Salvador Allende and Mr. Slave. They proceeded to vomit because a gerbil went to school with Michelle Bachelet's female dog who was killed in a communist revolution by Nelson Mandela. Many bothans died but many others lost the game. Also, fuck zebras. And walruses. In the anus.

A long time ago, in 1876,

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born.

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889.

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself.

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus,

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead.

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with an

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with a shark with a

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with a shark with a grey moustache on

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with a shark with a grey moustache on it's frikkin' head.

(you sonuvabitch)

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with a shark with a grey moustache on it's frikkin' head. The Jews prevailed

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with a shark with a grey moustache on it's frikkin' head. The Jews prevailed, pissing off the

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with a shark with a grey moustache on it's frikkin' head. The Jews prevailed, pissing off the Communist Party, who launched

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with a shark with a grey moustache on it's frikkin' head. The Jews prevailed, pissing off the Communist Party, who launched a revolution in

A long time ago, in 1876, Romar was born, but subsequently died from being stomped on by several albino rhinoceroses in Andorra in 1889. He was thirteen and his grief-stricken boyfriend killed himself. Meanwhile, in Belarus, Nazi predecessors started a small business based on eating pudding. However, Sultan Mohammad Arjikhagrajikharitalaskhrastakhar Ich Balfrachatrachalalchratala told them Jews to fix the recipe, but they invaded Turkevbashtamalachrakistan instead. The Nazis then counterattacked with a shark with a grey moustache on it's frikkin' head. The Jews prevailed, pissing off the Communist Party, who launched a revolution in Siberia which failed